i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
