Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
