Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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