Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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