you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
My ATM looks so different sober.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
