sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
