wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
