Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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