Kareoke will never be a sober sport
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
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