I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
