i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
