508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
