im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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