Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
