Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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