apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I just had sex on a roof
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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