is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
he fucked my hip out of place.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Randomize
