I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
