hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
