He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
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