Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
