I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
