Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
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