are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Randomize
