Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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