u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
