she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
The air was thick with penises
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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