somebody snuck up and got me drunk
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
