I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
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