when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
