So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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