Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
