That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
