She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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