I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
