At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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