well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
