She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
