i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Randomize
