were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
