I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
