I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
