I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
