im drinking this country out of the recession.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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