Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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