i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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