it was like eating out sand paper
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
