Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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