Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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