I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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