got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
